I've been trying nofap for a few years now but never actually got to 90 days. The goal of 90 days is completely arbitrary and broscientifical, and is based (iirc) on many users on the nofap forums reporting they've began noticing change after around 90 days. To be on the safe side I hope to achieve 180 days, but really my goal is to stop masturbating altogether. I've been doing nofap for years, failing miserably in the beginning, until I came across the now banned subreddit /r/Coomer.
/r/Coomer was a place dedicating to mocking, humiliating and dehumanising masturbation and pornography, but even more than that masturbators and pornographers, and dehumanise it did to such and extent that within just a few relapses my streaks began to skyrocket. I could hold longer and longer before relapsing, and eventually I've even had my longest streak in the /r/Coomer days, around 87 days. Through very funny, yet very shocking memes and countless discussions in the comments, each user introduced those just willing to read on into probably the most personal and embarassing journey in their life. /r/Coomer was the only place I knew that encouraged people not to masturbating by shaming them, and not like any of those self righteous christian anti masturbation organisation, for they were edgy, offensive, actually funny, and also most /r/Coomer members were themselves recovering coomers and fully admitted it. But Reddit have shut it all down, and (by my own doing, of course, not because of the ban) I've now descended into COOMerism far beyond what I would've imagined possible.
I feel that trying to free myself from the bondage of masturbating has been for me extremely difficult because of the weird fetish I have. This is something I've literally told to only one person in my entire life: I have a pie in the face fetish. For as long as I can remember, ever since I was a young child, it turned me on to see women being hit with pies in their faces. I couldn't explain it, still can't, it's such a weird, specific thing to be turned on by. In addition, it's a seemingly innocent, not by itself sexual act, so I can come across videos of that in probably every online platform. To be honest, I don't even remember the last time I've coomed to normal porn. Every time I get myself going with a nice nofap streak, I eventually get thoughts and fantasies about that sort of weird stuff, and as soon as that starts to happen I usually fail within a few days. The thought that this might not be just a fetish did occur to me, but I think that it is mostly high speed internet and my curiousity which have programmed me to get to the state I'm at today, because I don't remember myself thinking about it during the later stages of my longest streak.
My goal with this blog is to document my process, keep track of my streak and just write down some thoughts regarding this subject. Of course there are still "edgy right wing" places left online like Nanochan, Endchan and ConsumeProduct.WIN, but their scope is much wider than what I'm interested in. Also, I have a huge tendency to quickly get addicted to these kinds of social websites. I can easily spend four to five hours browsing /r/okbuddyretard. Instead I just want a clean, simple, minimal websites where I can archive my experience. There will be no fancy buttons or responsive design on this website, just a simple place where I upload articles. Every time I masturbate, coom if you will, I'll write an article with the title suffix " - COOM", but articles written on days where I didn't coom wouldn't be suffixed with anything.
The only "fancier" thing I did want to implement in this website is some kind of a comments system, because I don't want to "do this in a vacuum," and if someone somehow managed to come across this fucking weird cringe website, I really do want to hear what they have to say, even if it's just calling me a faggot. But apparently all website comment services like Disqus both cost money and are absolute shit, so I made an email address instead; PLEASE EMAIL ME AT coomerdiaries@cock.li