October 10th, 2020 - COOM

I've just coomed again. Yesterday I went on a long walk with my little sister and we both have had a wonderful time, only for me to now let go of all of my humanity, and enslave myself further to my masochistic relationship with naked women playing with cakes on a screen. Becoming purely hedonistic for yet another session. I hate to admit that I saw it coming, but I did. Ever since my last coom (WHICH WAS ONLY ONE FUCKING DAY AGO, GOD FUCKING DAMN IT) I've been thinking on and off about the same videos I've seen in my last online harem, all fetish stuff. So far I've masturbated 4 times this week. I think that after all of my nofap streaks my dick is so unused to cooming this much, that it's been painful and irritating for the past few days.

This spectacular achievment is probably due to the fact that throughout the last week I've doing nothing. Nearly didn't study at all, didn't read any books and didn't do anything else useful. When the week began I've started assembling parts for a computer that I've had sitting around and spent entire days doing just that. A few days later I began setting up a web server, and I've been using these events as excuses to just look at Reddit "while the program is downloading / Linux is installing / Windows is updating." After spending so much time online, looking at memes, comparing prices of SBCs, and doing other useless shit, it would only be natural for me to coom so much. Masturbation is a sure tell sign that my life is falling apart, and I simply didn't do amything about it.

First of all, I need a clear routine. Going back to sleep in 2300 should be MANDATORY (I used to go to sleep at 2100 and wake up at 0530, in that time period I've felt more energised than ever, but my current job unfortunately does not allow me to do so). At 2300 I immediately stop whatever it is I'm doing, quickly make my bed, and go to sleep until 0700. If I didn't brush my teeth or wash my face or maybe even shower - too fucking bad. Second, I'd say that as soon as I wake up and finish brushing my teeth, I have to get dressed up with jeans and shoes and a proper shirt and everything, even if I don't have work that day. Remaining in my comfy night clothes probably signals to my brain to be lazier, sleepier, less focused. I don't think it would be ideal to me to feel too comfortable while I'm trying to work on my goals. Third, if I have a massively time consuming task, such as setting up a basic server (only time consunimg because I'm stupid), assembling a computer (again, incompetence) or anything else, I should only allow myself to work on it a total of to hours a day, and these hours can't be consecutive and have to have a few hour break between them. Doing this won't allow me to start to wander off to do stupid useless things, and would also give me time to think longer and more clearly about the project, making me arrive at saner conclusions and, paradoxically, finishing it up faster.

Quite disappointed that I gave in and rubbed one out, especially considering how I've got work tomorrow and I'll probably be weird and uncomfortable again, but that's the price I have to pay. On the brighter side, I do feel like I've really "gotten it out of my system" this time, and have very high hopes for the upcoming streak.